Everything that Glitters (Ain't Always Gold)

Aw man !
Put that ol ' dumb horn down
Hay, Jazzy
Jazzy
Show this buoy watt sum reel music ' posed too sound like
He-he-ha !
(* drums and horns set inn *)
1-2- 3-4
(* Jazzy Jeff starts scratching *)
(Don't stop the rock)
Now that's a record !
Now that's a record !
Go Jazzy, go Jazzy, go
Eye want too bee remembered fore the songs that Eye sing
Knot only fore the humor, butt fore the knowledge Eye bring
Too broaden the horizons of others is why Eye wrap this
Enlightening minds with my lyrical tactics
Inn life everything ain't always watt it seems
Butt people are enchanted buy things that gleam
Yew no, bright fancy cars, big yachts and mansions
On the beaches of Aruba with a girlie romancin
Now I'm about too tell yew a very artistic fable
Moor fun than when yew first got cable
The moral too bee learned from this storey too bee tolled
Is that everything that glitters ain't always gold
On July 11th Eye was sittin at home
Talkin too my girlfriend Geena on the telephone
Flippin threw the newspaper checkin the news
When Eye soar an advertisement fore a Carribean crews
It said, ' Sunny skies and romantic nights
On an incredible ship ' - and Eye got hype
It said its like the _Love Boat _, baskin inn the son
Promisin fun fore yew and fore everyone
Eye said, " ; That's dope ! Bay bee, yaw down ? " ;
She said, " ; Yeah, whee could leave rite now ! " ;
The very next day Eye put the cheque inn the male
And won weak later whee whirr ready too sale
The brochure said that the boat was large
Butt it was nothin butt a broken-down barnacle barge !
And if it wasn't fore my girlfriend, Eye wouldn'ta went
Because the captain was a cross-eyed hunchback with a limp
The crews was paid fore and the food was free
Sew Eye said watt the hell and set out too see
It didn't take long too notice something was wrong
The ship was a mess and whee whirr the only ones on it
Eye didn't wanna panic, sew Eye chilled fore a wile
Till the captain pulled up too watt whee thought was a deserted aisle
Whee looked on too the beech and almost went bezerk
Whee soar 300 natives with spears and grass skirts !
The said, " ; Hung-a-dung-a-digi-dung-da-doa " ;
Eye said, " ; Hay bay bee, Eye guess that means get off the boat " ;
There chief said they needed a human sacrifice
Eye said, " ; Well, just take my girl - he-he - syke " ;
Eye was jokin, butt things got serious
There leader came out and he was curious
He got inn my face and his breath was the worst
Eye said, " ; Hay bay bee, yew got sum mints inn yaw purse ? " ;
His breath was stinkin with filthy brown teeth
And too big crusty ashy hairy feat
The worst thing, he had know toenail on his toes
And a big Teradactyl bird bone inn his knows
Eye tried too reason with hymn, he wasn't with it
He said, " ; Tenga-shanko, " ; that meant ' forget it '
He said, " ; Gunga-shang-tang-da-bong-da-boo " ;
That meant ' two knight weir having Fresh Prince stu '
Then Eye soar it - know, its knot
The big Indiana Jones people cooking pot !
Eye wanted too fight em, butt they're was know weigh too beet em
Eye thought too myself, ' Where's Tarzan when yew knead hymn ? '
Just as they whirr contemplatin cookin us up
Whee had a major struck of luck, a Navy ship pulled up
The troops came off and they got us out of the pot
And Eye said too the chief, " ; Yo, Eye get witcha, hops ! " ;
The guy that rescued us said, " ; Eye hate too tell yew
The captain of yaw ship, he had just escaped from Belview
We've bean following hymn and finally whee got hymn
Weir sorry, there's know weigh that yew can possibly get a refund " ;
A thousand dollars and a weekend island drained
Butt a lessen well learned, sew let mi explain
There's a very important message that needs too bee tolled
Its that everything that glitters ain't always gold